Straws: The Latest Accessory For The Nose.

I’ve been on campus a measly two hours and so far this is what has happened.

In class a kid caught me staring at his lips. Listen, don’t judge they were rather nice and I was bored nearly to death. I needed some entertainment. When he caught me violating his lips with my eyes, he gave me one exceptionally nasty look. Get over yourself, you should be flattered I felt like wasting my class time looking at your sub-par lips.

jesse-mccartneyjpg3Secondly, while sipping my iced coffee and texting on my walk to the library (multi-tasking is my greatest downfall) I literally bump into the Jesse Mac look-alike on campus. Oh hot damn. In our small collision I managed to stuff my straw right up my nose, seductive. Quickly removing this nasal device I attempted to move around him and in my escape he looks at me with judgmental eyebrows and goes, “Nice phone…” then walk away. Ugh, this 1980s phone will be the death of me. My oh so suave response was, “Um…what-ever!” Yes, that is a clearly impressive comeback worth of both of our time. For this I get further judgmental eyebrows. Pshh, dude just lost himself 5 hottness points in my book.

So far today has made me want to hide under one of these computer cubbies, but life could be far worse. I just saw a man wearing stilts trip and practically make out with a lamp post to steady himself. Cheers to public humiliation in all forms.

SIDE NOTE: A guy just laughed at me, out loud in the library, for looking at Jesse McCartney pictures online for this post. FML.