Where’s Your Mom?

Whenever I find that I need to hustle down Pearl to work I throw my headphones on to motivate fast walking as opposed to my usual “just dickin’ around” walk. So today, while busting a move through the mall, my iPod switched songs at the perfect time allowing me to hear a small child’s statement regarding myself.

This kid can’t be older then 10, 12 tops. Yet, he thinks he is hot shit with his crew of fellow street urchins who are all congregating around the lower level vending machines. This stud whips out the statement, “Mmmm … thick and juicy!”

What. The. Hell. You are ten, I am not a steak, and no one actually says these types of things in real life.

Right as the next song kicks in on my iPod, I turn and stare at him with the world’s single most incredulous look on my face and suddenly all of those supreme-stud thugs drop the act, look at me with panic and scatter.

Go to Burger King where you’re comments will be acceptable. Thanks.