I simply cannot believe the situation I have just found myself in. Firstly, let me just throw a little disclaimer out there: I LOATHE FLYING, STINGING WASP-LIKE INSECTS. I fully believe them to, in fact, be the spawn of Satan. After numerous, horrifying incidents with wasps, hornets, and bees in general as a small child, I have developed a full blown phobia of them which can induce hysteria and extremely questionable actions. I will dead sprint up mountains, jump in massive bodies of water, and nearly throw my car into a ditch pulling over to escape these winged demons. I once hurdled the wall of my pool in one fluid motion to flee, which is no easy feat. Needless to say, the slightest hum of beating wings makes me lose what little sanity I actually posses.
Moving forward….it is April. In fact it is still the beginning of April. This is the time of year I live for. Ideally I prefer summer, however the large amount of wasp-demon activity in this season keeps me with Raid can in hand, severely hindering my ability to enjoy it fully. This is why spring is perfect. Things are just beginning to get warm and bloom and insect activity is minimal. I can walk about freely without fearing a sudden attack, which is why tonight I was completely blind sided.
Finally ready for bed around midnight I plop into bed grab my computer and intend to do a little facebooking before bed. While typing and innocently minding my own business I feel something move across my left pinky finger… something that feels far too much like small, evil insect legs. I look down and spy a bug on my finger. I instantly tense and flick away the evil-doer thinking it was one of those gross, annoying and perfect harmless bugs that has taken to inhabiting our house during warm months. Thinking I’m safe I continue typing.
Next thing I know the bug is back and has flown straight into my face and landed on my glasses. Adjusting my eyesight I see that it is in fact a WASP!!!! AHHHH!!! What in the hell!!! It’s April, where did this little devil come from?!?! I freak. The glasses go flying off so quickly I lose my balance and fall out of bed knocking over my chair which hits my light knocking that to the floor as well. WORST NIGHTMARE EVER. I am now completely blind, in the dark and I can hear BUZZING. Ohhh myyyy godddddddddd. I literally hurl myself into my closet with the light, plug it in and emerge looking a fool, using my light as a weapon. RIDICULOUS. With light-weapon in tow and shaking all over, I manage to locate my glasses after much close peering at the carpet and they are wasp free. Now the hunt begins. I locate the little jerk sneaking into my pillow case! Outrageous. After much nervous flinching I trap the sucker under a glass and between a book. He is now safely locked in the closet in this makeshift contraption with a book on top of the glass to ensure a safe nights sleep. I simply cannot believe the war has begun so soon this year. Raid will be purchased tomorrow, ASAP.