Moments of Seduction

Sometimes, like every other human in the world, I yawn. Often times, people look over at the peak of the yawn which is never attractive, ever. Today such a moment happened. I was in the midst of a particularly satisfying yawn and not paying any attention to my surroundings I let loose and went with it. This yawn was one of the records; as in mouth wide open, eyes tearing up and an unfortunately a little bit of wonk-eye.

Naturally someone, who was an incredibly good looking male, was staring at me with an intense interest. He apparently interprets this moment of tiredness as a pick up. Yes dude-to-the-left, when I am scoping out hotties and decide to impress one I always open my mouth as wide as possible, bare my teeth, get a little teary and show off my best wonk-eye. I think the main problem is he decided the wonk-eye was some horrifying version of a wink. So with a flash of panic in his eyes he quickly informs me that my alleged seduction tactics are not of interest to him by saying. “Um yeah. No thanks.” Then he moves two rows of seats away.

I’m sorry what? No thanks? REALLY?! Note to you Mr. Ego I am not putting on the sexy for you and if you think that is a wink, get your eyes checked. Ugh. I didn’t even bother to reply to his assumption that I wanted the goods with my wide-open, yawn mouth. Instead I sat in my seat wondering how on Earth anyone could possibly misinterpret a yawn for a seduction move. I still find it impossible. Maybe it’s the new mating call?


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