Young Children & Me = Not A Good Mix

The other day, I had a complete and utter crap day. As I was finally making my way home and turned onto Pearl Street, I look into a yard and see two little kids playing. Ahhh yes. The good old days when imagination was really all you needed. In the midst of my smiling nostalgia, the young boy apparently takes notice of me. I notice him sizing me up and think quickly, “RUN AWAY!”

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As a general rule whenever a kid/child/small urchin is looking at me with deviance in their eyes I attempt to abort the situation. Just as I start to make the move to cross the street I see something zooming at me out of the periphery of my vision. This demon child has in fact launched a surprisingly large dirt clod at me. In the midst of this launch he has also chosen some spectacular words to yell in attack. They are: “GO BACK TO YOUR HOLE!” This total douche of a kid just threw half his yard at my face and told me to go back to my hole? Seriously?! Being the ever-mature person I am, I stuck my tongue out at him and yelled, “Bite me!” I then ran away in a very dignified manner. I am seriously reconsidering that whole having kids thing. A dog is just fine by me.

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