While I shall miss UVM after I graduate, I am quite certain I will not miss the numerous awkward encounters I have had in it’s outdated library. The other day I sit down in peace, in an area where no one is particularly near me. Within two seconds this dude gets up from the table next to me (he thinks I do not see this) and comes and sits down right across from me. Inner monologue, “God no. Get out of here.” I can already tell this is going to be painful. Right as I am about to put in my headphones he practically yells at me, “THE CUBICLES ARE SO CRAMPED! I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND IF I SIT HERE!” In this terribly polite method of chatting, he manages to spit all over my computer. Great. Simply fabulous. Oh and by the way bud, I saw you get up from the table right next to me, so that you could creep on me. You did not, in fact, come from a cubicle.
I decide to be mature about the situation and not gather my belongings and move to a safe zone. Instead I simply say, in a very quiet “indoor” voice, “You can sit where ever you want.” Then I slam my headphones into my head as quickly as possible and turn up my music so that I will not have to hear him yelling at me to get my attention. This attempt was a fail.
About five minutes into enjoying my blissful Jesse McCartney music, heaven is interrupted when something smacks me in the face and falls onto my keyboard. I look down and an alcohol wipe is staring me back in the face. What the hell. I look up and Creeper McCubicleMover is looking at me with a huge grin on his face. Yes good sir, to seduce the young ladies today it is best to smack them in the face with antiseptic wipes. This gives you a sure in.
I pull my headphones out completely unsure as to how to deal with this situation and simply ask, “Did you drop this?” He informs me that is to clean my headphones. Oh duh Amber, how could you not realize such an obvious fact; your ears are terribly disgusting and dirty therefore you must disinfect them and your headphones before listening to your quality music. How could I have been so senseless. To appease the crazy sitting across from me I clean my headphones, say thanks and then burying myself in my book to illustrate that I am terribly busy reading terribly important things and should not be bothered.
Ten minutes pass and I’m finally breathing freely thinking I will no longer be bothered. Think again. Suddenly there is a hand waving in my face, literally like three inches (max) from my nose. Once again, do people not grasp the concept of personal space, it is not that hard. Really, it isn’t. I pop out one headphone and put on my best disinterested face. He asks me what I’m listening too.
Now, while I may love me some Jesse McCartney music. I tend to keep this on the DL since I fully accept that is deemed “BAD MUSIC” by nearly everyone I know. On that note, I certainly do not openly admit this, especially to strangers who give me alcohol wipes for my earbuds. I lie and say I’m listening to Wu-Tang. He seems like the type who is horrified by rap music in general let alone serious rap. I guessed right. Instead of getting the point that we are in fact two very different people who should have nothing to do with each other he asks me if I listen to classical. Ugh, really? After informing him that no, I do not listen to classical, he takes my headphones out of the jack and puts it in his computer.
Whoa bud, not cool. I now have to wildly scramble to pull up my iTunes and hit the space bar so that the whole library does not find out that I am listening to Jesse McCartney. After this awkward, mad dash to silence my music. The mega-douche sitting across from me presses play on his music so I can be graced with the beauty of his far superior music. What hits my ears is indescribable. While I do not play World of Warcraft I strongly feel as though this music has to be the theme song. This is no Mozart, it is full-fledged sci-fi dweeb soundtrack. I am at a loss for words and after about a full minute I can no longer handle myself so I pop out my headphone jack and say, “It’s interesting.” Right as he is going to respond Lauren comes to my rescue and I throw myself into conversation in a vain attempt to shut the sci-fi lover out. He finally gets the point and I can sit next to Lauren, my savior, and listen to my Jesse Mac in peace.