Skirts will be the death of me.

Ah yes spring made a brief, fleeting appearance the other week. After years of surviving through the crap winters Vermont hands down I have realized you must strike when that 50 degree weather comes around. So it was going to be 60 out the other day, perfect time to reach into the deep recesses of my closet and pull out a skirt. Not being completely crazy I threw a pair of tights on underneath said skirt before heading out for the day. Thank god for this move.

While flitting about through campus I hear someone say my name. I should really know by now, whenever this happens, that I should simply run away and not look back. It never ends well. Nonetheless I looked back to find Mr. Awkward Central himself looking at me. Fwah, why must you be so good looking and around me when I am least expecting it. Determined to be smooth this time I made my way over for a little chat. The wind had a very different idea in mind for me. Just as he says, “You look nice today…” A severe gust of that lovely lake-side wind tunnels under my skirt and forces it to reach for the heavens. Suddenly all I can see is white fabric attempting to eat my face and I am suddenly aware that my underwear, while covered by tights, its still highly visible and high inappropriate for daytime flashing. I shoot my arms over my head, spill some coffee and strong-arm my skirt back into it’s rightful place; covering me. With a bright red face I excuse myself from the small crowd that is gathering stating I’m terribly late for class, even though it doesn’t begin for another 20 minutes and scurry away, skirt held firmly down.


This woman’s face pretty much expresses how my inner soul felt, horrified.

I will now invest in small weights to sew into the hem of my skirt in order to prevent another scenario such as this from occurring.


The Midterm Round-Up

This past week has been rather hectic to say the least. As usual during midterm time my stress level goes through the roof. Increased stress usually places me into a daze for the week which naturally ups my moments of awkwardness. So get ready to read.


Awkward Moment #1

While sitting the the library, minding my own business, some terribly witty and extremely hip freshman girls decide to sit next to me and proceed to discuss just how amazingly cool they are. Anyone who knows me, knows my thoughts on loud people in the library. I came here to study, not hear about last weekend amazing hook-up with that guy, what was his name again?

Anyways, these charming young women are then joined by some boy who undoubtedly lives in their dorm. After being summoned over by, “CHAD OH GOD! CHAD SIT WITH US! CHAAAAAAD!!!” So, this Chad kid takes a seat practically on top of me at the table. Yo dude, personal space. Learn about it. 

So as I am attempting to concentrate on my terribly fascinating reading about drug addiction, I spy out of the corner of my little eye, Chad staring at me. Really now bud, I’m not that fascinating. You are already sitting on top of me practically, could you at least try to not be staring into my inner ear?

Next thing I know something is touching my foot. No, really. This is not happening. I ever so slightly move my foot in a sign that clearly says, “This is my foot, it does not want to be touched.” Chad, aka Mr. Footsie, interprets this to mean, “Touch my foot more.” He is practically figure skating all around my foot area. Right as I am about to officially sit on top of my feet to get the point across I am rescued by friends. Note to Chad, my feet don’t want your feet, do not molest them. Thank you.


Awkward Moment #2

Ahh, Mardi Gras. While your local news will tell you this a family fun event where children run around enjoying their bundles of beads, college students do things a little differently. After starting Mardi Gras Saturday off the usual way, drinking by 1pm, the crew headed off to the parade to be consumed by the mob. 

While minding my own business I notice a dude standing way to close to my zone. In my usual polite, non-awkward manner I turn around to stare at him only to find that it is one of my chance encounters with the opposite sex. Once upon a drinking night I met this lovely young man at a classy local spot named What Ales You. 

Suddenly in the middle of my staring encounter I hear, “Carl you fucker! How dare you show your face!” Followed by a purse smack to his face. As his broken sunglasses fell to the ground about three other girls jumped in, “You think you can just cheat on my best friend and then walk in public!” and, “Get the fuck of my street!” Apparently “Carl” was in for a fight. In the end lots of yelling and smacking ensued and Carl booked it down the street. 

Welcome to my life. Cheaters hit on me in bars called What Ales You. Sweet.


Awkward Moment #3


This one is a quickie. Today while acting very stealthy and checking out a particularly good looking male walking past, I chose to cut across the street since there was a break in traffic. Multi-tasking does not work so well for me and I proceeded to collide with a “No Parking Zone” sign and promptly fall over. In the middle of the day, in public. No big deal.