Rogue Ice Cubes

So it begins. The ice cube is entirely to blame, and the tongs.

Today I was simply minding my own business, not looking for trouble simply grabbing an iced coffee in the DC. In the midst of filling my lovely new coffee mug with ice I look across the coffee station to find possibly one of the most attractive men I have ever seen looking at me. He smiles, and my awkwardness decides to sabotage me.

 I decide to attempt to be smooth and oh so suave with my actions an while placing this ice in my mug; however that would be all to easy right? It is now that I seemingly lose all control over my bodily functions and my grip on the ice tongs. Result? My multiple ice cubes go flying out of the tong and attack the face of the hottie standing across from me.

DISASTER. Disaster has struck yet again. He beings with, “Um what just…..” I don’t even let him get to the end of his sentence before I squeak a sorry out and book it out of the area. Honestly, how do these things happen to me. I might just have to switch my major to Biology and find the cure for this disease. 

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Enough is enough Ashton…

Awkward things happen to me. Not just run-of-the-mill awkward moments; more along the lines of horrifying, nightmare giving moments. Cringe worthy moments which will scar me for life. Moments which leave me thinking, “Seriously now. Am I being Punked? Ashton, I’ve had enough of this!” Yet so far this does not seem to be the case.

 

While these moments may lead me to cry for my life, they often result in bouts of hysteria for whomever I choose to provide details too. I have found more often then not that my tragic life serves to amuse my family and friend immensely and time after time I have been told, “You need to start writing this down.” Yet in the midst of classes, work and clubs I have little spare time to start a memoir of awkwardness. So I took the easy way out and decided to start a blog.

 

Here you can read all about my weekly, if not daily, awkward excursions. So if you find yourself in need of a laugh, by all means read along and enjoy my life, the center of the awkward universe.